Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
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