no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
