I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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