Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Randomize
