PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
