if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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