If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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