Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
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