Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
