he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
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