I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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