do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
