Apparently you make a good broom.
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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