question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Randomize
