don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
When are your genitals available?
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
