worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
We left an ass print on the piano.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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