Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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