I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
