i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
i think i have two assholes
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Randomize
