She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
