honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
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