I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
