You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
