I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
accomplished twins. life is a go
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
