Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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