she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize