the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
