is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
We left the knife in your bed.
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
