please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Randomize
