I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
