My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
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