# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Randomize
