He asked me if I "almost moaned"
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
