Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize