Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
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