Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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