I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
