he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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