I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
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