he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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