How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
