Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Randomize
