it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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