I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
