Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Found: medium sized pair of mens pants tucked inside my purse w/ a dry cleaners coupon in left pocket. Call if you wish to claim the coupon
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I'm bleeding and have questions
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize
