Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
