she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
