Me too!
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
being pregnant is like rehab
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize