she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
I queefed so loud it echoed.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I'm gonna take a crap in the portashitter like a civilized human being.
I just want to make out with him forever
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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