Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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