Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
