I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize