I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
