If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
