i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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