i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I walked into a room this morning and someone asked how my back was because I apparently threw myself off the porch after attempting to set myself on fire. Who the fuck let drunk me play with fire?!
Better question: who the fuck planted a tree next to the porch?!
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
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