seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
Randomize
