My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize