Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
