I'm really into asian looking animals
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
