I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I FOUND THE LEGS
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
