New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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