I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Congratulations! We have a period
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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